Approaching Terrific Threes...

Do you ever have those days where you’re looking around you thinking, “what the foxtrot”? Yeah, me too…they seem to be more frequent as we near the terrific threes, as I’ll call them. Welcome to the shitshow! The last 48 hours have included, but are not limited to:

1.   Stepping into the garage to load into the car and feeling pee run down my side. Um, we’re almost three and potty trained, but we’re crabby about having to go to school.
2. Yelling from the top of the stairs (and at the top of her lungs) – “I POOOOOOPED!”. I’m sorry, what? Again…see above. I suspect it may have been a “never trust a fart” moment that went completely awry. As in…so bad that I contemplated throwing the clothing and bathroom rug into the trash can.
3.  Screaming for more “APPLE JUSH”, right meow…as I realize that we’re out of said juice…and we’re home alone. We’re a little volatile as we near terrific three…so it becomes a full on disaster.
4.  During #three above, I was minutes from locking her in Deuce’s kennel, to hit the store in peace…then I looked down and Deuce was dry-humping a giant stuffed animal. Seriously, dude? I grabbed the bottle of champagne from the fridge, took a giant swig – and then something magical happened…I got a text from an angel shopping at Sam’s asking if I needed anything. Oh, I love you so, my sweet drinking neighbor.
5. Waking up at 3AM thinking there was a freight train coming through the house, then realizing that the terrific three year old and the tardy thirty nine year old were snoring loud enough to wake the neighbors.

It’s par for the course, since my golf course of life is littered with awesome sand traps and water hazards. J In reality, it’s all small shit (literally)…and it’s actually funny when I think about it and who can resist that face?! Plus...in years to come, she may be wiping my bum/changing my diaper...