The Threenager Weekly Roundup
Reading this hilarious post brought back memories of old summer photos consisting of jello shots - and
amazing “best-worst-idea-ever” adventures! Then I was jolted back to reality by
finding a half-eaten fruit rollup in my purse. I’m not saying that it’s mine…but
I think I know who did it. In other shit that might be happening in our neck of
the woods this week...
- Losing arguments with a threenager over preferred mode of dress. No, fleece “jammas” are not appropriate for 80` weather.
- Screaming tantrums ending with someone telling you that they “don’t like you”.
- Letting your kid swim in the kiddie pool all evening and considering it an appropriate ‘bath’ for the evening.
- Letting said kid walk around in a wet swimsuit until midnight…because it’s summer in Alaska and she argues that since the sun is still out, it’s not night-night time.
- Fixing multiple vodker cocktails after kid falls asleep…then wondering why you have a headache in the morning.
- Accusations against you for breaking toys…I said “oops, it broke” and she glared at me and yelled, “NO, you broke it!” I had to appease her by agreeing to sew up Anna’s stupid bonnet later.
- Requests for otter pops that are ONLY blue…the other ones aren’t as good. When you claim to be out of blue, she tells you to go to the garage freezer, because there are blue ones there. How the hell does she know, she can’t reach the freezer?!
- Losing a battle with Mowgli hair – after french braiding and telling her she looks so grown up – she rips out the rubber bands and messes her hair up like Maisy from Uncle Buck.
- Constantly having to take a threenager to the shitter, because she “can’t do it by myself”…but she becomes uber independent if there’s a chainsaw or other maiming device around. Or the sink…if the sink is on, it’s fair game for spraying the entire kitchen “all by myself”.
- Trying to get threenager to eat 'real' meals, but giving up and considering pancakes and TWO whole blueberries to be sufficient.
- Screaming "I want to go home" whilst in the car, on the way to an appointment...I told her to chill because we're in it together - we're a TEAM! She screamed back "I don't want to be on your team!" Okay, buddy...take it down a notch?
- Receiving amazing warning letters from Animal Control because your dog is a barking a-hole.
- Receiving an amazing bill from the “fabulous-dept-of-treasury” on the same day - requesting more money than you paid for your first rig.
- Having to haul your kid to a corner of a ballfield, for a timeout…because she told her BFF that she was “bugging her”. What the hell?
- Discovering a huge pile of chopped up mail and realizing that your threenager knows how to use very sharp scissors…and she did it “all by myself”. Too bad she didn’t shred #12 for me…
- Constant hollering for apple juice, but mostly right after I sit down somewhere.
- Trying to get “everything” done around the house while a threenager grabs at your leg…and you finally give in when she says “I just want you to cuddle me”. Who can resist that? Housework is too adulty…and it can be done tomorrow.
- And, finally the delicious response of “I love you” from a prickly threenager.
Happy Tuesday!
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